Did you know that self sabotage serves a purpose??
Yes, it does!
It keeps us safe and it protects us.
I know it sounds crazy -- but the any behavior we exhibit as a "hall pass" to avoid another (healthier) behavior actually just wants to keep us safe.
And there are a number of things it's keeping us safe from -- but here are the most likely culprits:
1. Judgment -- If you're afraid you're going to be judged for putting your work in the world, guess what?! Your self sabotaging behavior will go to bat on your behalf to help you avoid working -- so that you can avoid judgment.
Logical brain: Working on manuscript? Yes! I totally want to finish my book.
Self Sabotage Brain: Working on a manuscript? No! You'll be judged! They won't like it! Let's have some ice cream and watch The Bachelorette!!
2. Rejection -- If you're afraid someone will say "no" to you or that you'll hear crickets after putting something out in the world that it took your whole heart to create.... Your self sabotaging behavior will go to bat on your behalf to help you avoid rejection.
Logical Brain: I really want to get my blog published on _____________ [super famous person's site] Totes gonna submit it! I mean... write it and submit it! Yes!
Self Sabotage Brain: You're going to whaaaaat?? Have a bazillion eyes on your work and risk that many people ignoring you and not giving a crap about what you have to say??
I think you should go to Target. You need toilet paper. And a few new tank tops. And cute plates with that swirly design thing going on.
3. Family Drama: If you're afraid you'll be ridiculed by your family (or possibly ousted from the family unit, there's a good chance your SS Brain will be all like -- UM, IMMA hold you back, girl bc I don't want yo' mama to get upset.
Logical Brain: I really want to start my podcast about self love. It's such a passion project since I've learned so much about myself growing up in an alcoholic home. YES! Can't wait to get started.
Self Sabotage Brain: WTF ARE YOU THINKING???? The things you've learned all relate back to your overbearing mother and emotionally unavailable father and now you want to talk about it??? Let's go check the Facebook! And Instagram! And I'll help you compare your life to everyone else's so that you feel like crap and don't create. I'll keep you soooo safe.
See, Self Sabotage Brain wants to divert our attention from what's really going on to something it tricks us into thinking is important.
But here's the thing! It's not doing it because it hates us or wants us to suffer! It's doing it to literally try and keep us safe.
So our job is to quiet the voices in the swampy area of our brain (the ones that we're not always consciously aware of and where SS Brain lives) so that we can give them a voice, thank them for trying to protect us and release them.
That's what we do with tapping.
We bring compassion to our fear voices. We throw love at our self sabotaging behaviors -- because when it comes down to it, they are just trying to love us, but in a misguided way.
Want to learn more about how to end self sabotage and procrastination with Pro EFT?
I'm going to be doing a free webinar all about how to tap through your self sabotaging behaviors and tap into a sense of safety and excitement moving forward. I'll answer your questions, do some live tapping and give you a downloadable tapping meditation to help you slay self sabotage once and for all.
This webinar will be recorded for those who can't make it live. After the replay period, it will be available for purchase in the Lucky Shop.
The webinar date is TBD as I'm still in creation-mode, however, if you're interested, please email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) and let me know so I can put you on the list to get the info.
And if you have any questions about the topic, email me and let me know so I can answer them on the webinar!