Can you relate to any of the following?
~Thinking about all of the negative things that could possibly happen in the future – catastrophizing about the worst case scenario.
~Feeling like you’re in a constant state of fear &/or worry – like someone pushed the “On” button and you can’t find the “Off” button
~Stuck in perfection-itis – where you can’t seem to get things out in the world because you’re always finding another thing that’s wrong or needs to be fixed. You have to wait until it’s “just right” to move forward.
~Not being able to clearly identify what you want or where you want to go
~Not being able to trust others and feeling like you need to do everything yourself (probably because no one else would do it right!)
These are all symptoms of being ruled by your past.
They are beliefs and behaviors you've picked up along the way that, at one time or another, actually served you and protected you.
And because you've practiced them for so long (maybe you've pretty much always been this way) or you don’t remember a time when you weren’t caught in at least one of those symptoms (!) – it becomes a challenge to start practicing new beliefs and behaviors.
Here are a couple of questions that can start to loosen the grip of those old patterns (or, if you like metaphors, you can think of these questions as beginning to “wiggle the tooth” of your old ways of being.)
~Who told you it wasn’t ok to make a mistake?
~What happened when you were little if you made a mistake or did something wrong?
~Is there a specific incident you can recall that is related to any of the symptoms we just identified?
~What was said or done to you? By whom? What were the circumstances?
~What beliefs did you take on as a result of that incident?
These are the questions that are going to get you to your tapping target.
For example, maybe you grew up in a home where you were expected to get straight A's every marking period. And once in a while you brought home a B+ and was told by your mom that that wasn’t good enough – and “What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you trying harder?”
You internalized this to believe you should always be perfect – and if you weren’t perfect, there was something wrong with you and you’re not trying hard enough.
This might manifest in present day as never being able to get your work out into the world because you are so scared of being less than perfect. “What will they think? What will they say? Who will I be if they don’t think I did it good enough?”
And BOOM – you hide. Your procrastinate. You never hit publish and you stay “safe” outside the judgment of anyone but yourself. (And that judgment alone can be vicious, amirite?)
When we find that initial incident – or that period of time when you picked up those faulty beliefs, we can tap through it so that the old programming dissolves and the new beliefs are imprinted -- And you feel safe (and totally badass) moving forward.
That's how we loosen the grip of the past (or wiggle that tooth until that sucker just falls right out) and tap into the magnificence that was there THE WHOLE TIME.
Here’s your Lucky Work for this week:
1. Go back up in this post (or print it out) and answer the questions. Try to find that incident or thing that happened where you picked up a faulty belief that’s not serving you in the present day.
2. Do some tapping around it.
3. Come in the group for support.
I’m holding you in the light.