You know, I used to LOVE the idea of “getting out of your box” and leaving your comfort zone and dreaming big –
And of course, part of me still does!
I am a huge proponent of ginormous and crazy dreams.
But I'm also a huge proponent of staying inside of your proverbial box.
See, what happens when you're "in a box" and then try to "Dream Big!" or "leap out of your comfort zone" into some whole new reality that you've never known or experienced before is that you completely freak yourself out.
That's why it's said that over 70% of lottery winners go broke or file for bankruptcy.
Because the reality that they "leap" into is WAY BIGGER than the reality they currently live in and their brain literally can't handle it.
They've never been taught how to manage that kind of money (which is part of why they didn't have it in the first place) and they have a convoluted idea of what it means to have all that cash and the kind of person they should be now that they have it. They weren't prepared for that kind of quantum leap and their brain subsequently found ways to bring them back down to the level where they started because that is what felt safe and familiar.
If you don't feel safe at the next level of your life or business, your brain will do everything it can to bring you back down to the level where it feels comfortable.
This is where tapping can really help. You can literally reprogram your brain to get on board with expansion. You can turn off the fight/flight response that has it think that it's not safe at another level so that you can continue to grow and expand in all areas of your life.
Here's a personal story:
In 2007, I hired a famous coach for an entire year.
This coach had me more than quadruple my current income as my goal of the program.
I remember the first time this person told me to set this goal -- I felt an immediate sense of dread and "Are you fucking kidding me??"
But I went along with it because -- this person was/is a famous coach.
I went along with it because I'd payed this person SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS to tell me what to do.
And at the end of this person's program, I was SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS in debt and more miserable and depressed than when I started.
Because the leap this person was telling me I should take was WAY too big for my brain to handle and it got completely freaked out.
When you're in Freaked Out Brain, you can't make good decisions. You can't access your resources or your creativity and your better judgment goes straight out the window.
I learned a lot that year.
Not at all what I thought I was going to learn.
But one of my biggest takeaways is that you can't force a mouse to live as the Queen of England in one year.
You can't force yourself to be/ do/ have something that feels absolutely nothing like who you currently are.
So if you're rocking out at your day job that you've had for a few years and you want to start an online biz, your Big Dream might be that you're a booked out holistic coach with tens of thousands of social media followers, speaking gigs lined up the wazoo and a couple of awesome passive income products helping you make bank.
And that's f**king awesome.
However... if you tell yourself you've got to make that happen in the next 3-6 months, your brain will practically short circuit because it has no idea how to do all of that from where you currently are. It's like telling a person on Earth that they need to live on Mars.
It's too big of a leap to go from where you are to that Big Dream.
It's an A-to-Z leap rather than an A-to-B leap.
So this is why I love being in my box.
Because I know my box.
My box is safe and familiar.
My box has boundaries.
And the imaginary box I live in actually has the capacity to expand.
It has the capacity to take me from Box A to Box B.
And then from Box B to Box C... and so on.
So, what I'd invite you to do with this particular Big Dream is ask yourself, "Hey self, what's like, the next size box you could move into regarding this dream?"
This question gets your brain's wheels turning on what the next tiny little step towards this Big Dream might be.
It doesn't freak it out, but gently nudges it into a greater place of expansion than where it currently resides.
Over time, you get closer and closer to that Big Dream with your brain and all of your faculties on board. You're not freaking yourself out or sabotaging yourself because each time you move to the next size box, you establish a new level of comfort. You tap through your discomfort and fear each time you expand and then you establish a "new normal" at this next level.
That's how sustainable and massive change happens over time.
From one size box to the next and the next -- until one day you look back and you just can't believe all of the progress you've made and how big your life has gotten.
When I work with my clients, it's all about taking the next right action, feeling into the fear that comes up, tapping through the resistance and then letting it go and expanding into more of who you are.
Wash, rinse, repeat.
Now, this isn't the sexiest post I could write. There are a lot of coaches and thought leaders who tell you that you need to quantum leap in your thinking or dream way bigger than you think is realistic. And you can do it all in 30 days or less! (or whatever). (barf.)
But it's been my experience that those who change on the deepest levels (and sustain it over time), do so incrementally, thoughtfully and carefully with a lot of support along the way.
If that sounds like something you can get behind, click here to set up a complimentary chat with me. I'd love to help you move from Box A to the Queen of England. ;)
OVER TO YOU: What's one action you can take today to step into the next size box? What's that feel like for you? Let me know your thoughts in the COMMENTS box below!