Stop compare and despair with these 4 things {+ Tapping Script}

Do you ever worry about what everyone thinks about you? Afraid you’re not doing it right or like everyone else thinks you should be doing it?




I know this feeling all too well!


When I’m in that space, I always know there are a few things going on that are keeping me in that space.


1. I’m on social media too much.


            Looking through my Facebook feed and seeing pictures of happy couples, vacations, kids, big business and life accomplishments etc….. can make me feel like I don’t measure up or that I’m behind. Too much time on social does this to me every time.  I have to remind myself that Facebook is the highlight reel of everyone's life, not the real-time version.


Key takeaway: Keep the focus on myself. Stay in my own lane. Stop scrolling. Use social – don’t let social use me. Have designated off-hours for all electronics.


2. I’m not focused on any one particular project, but rather a vague sense of where I’m going coupled with random actions that lead nowhere, but make me feel busy.


            When I’m solely focused on one project, I’m REVVED up. Fiercely committed. Unstoppable. My energy is contained and lasered in on one really exciting thing. That leaves me NO TIME to care or think about what other people are thinking about me.


            When I’m vague and all over the place, my energy is scattered and therefore, more susceptible to overthinking, overanalyzing and overcaring about what other people are doing, thinking or saying.


Key takeaway: Choose one project or goal and commit to it fiercely. Keep my head down and do what needs to be done to complete it. Keep my focus positive and on-task by putting gentle reminders in my phone and in my environment.


3. I haven’t gotten enough oxygen.


            99% of the time when I’m in any kind of compare/despair mindset, if I ask myself the last time I worked out or got outside, I’ll have to stop and think about it. I don’t judge myself for this anymore; I just notice and set up a time to go for a hike or take a yoga class.


Nature never judges me and when I’m on my yoga mat, it’s all about me and my breath and God—everyone else fades away in those moments and it becomes an opportunity for me to reconnect to my essential self and my innate sense of wholeness, self acceptance and love.


Key Takeaway: Trees and getting my heart rate up are non-negotiable items on my list these days. Conscious consistent connection to something greater than myself helps me stay focused, grounded and loving towards myself and others.


4. I’m not connecting regularly to my tribe.


            Usually, when I’m too in my head about other people, I’m lacking a connection to the people who really matter in my real actual offline life and spending too much time alone. This is usually an indication to make a phone call or set up a coffee date or attend a spiritual pow-wow of some kind. Connection, through actual physical real-life human people is powerful, mind-shifting, soul-shifting stuff.


Key Takeaway: Make a commitment to face-to-face (or even SkypeFace-to-SkypeFace if necessary!) interact with my favorite humans. When my beating heart comes nearer to another beating heart, goodness, grace, and positive self esteem always triumph.


Check in with yourself today and see if you feel a little off-balance in any of these areas. Look through this list again and see if any one in particular resonates with you. Are you willing to make a small shift? 


Remember, your mind needs positive things to focus on. Otherwise it will default into the negative.


That’s so important, I need to say it again:


Your mind needs positive things to focus on. Otherwise it will default into the negative.


If you don’t consciously give your mind positive things to focus on and work on, it will default into over-identification with your ego-based, small self. It will search for reasons why you shouldn't feel good enough and default into compare and despair.


That’s why these seemingly small choices you make on a daily basis matter so deeply. We all need to train our minds to bend towards the positive. The more you make these choices, the more you'll train your brain to go there automatically and the more likely you'll become to feel more awesome more of the time.


To recap:

1.     Stay off social

2.     Have an exciting vision you’re working towards

3.    Move your body and connect with nature

4.     Connect offline with your tribe


And of course, don’t forget to tap! It’s just another way to gently and consistently remind and train your brain to create positive neural pathways.


If you haven’t joined me in the Facebook group, you’re missing out on some awesome tapping sessions! You can find all the past sessions by searching the hashtag #TapItOutTuesday. This week we tapped through feeling judged by other people (with a focus on parenting). Click the image to join. 


Much love to you.




Over to You! In the comments box below, let me know which of the 4 things above you're going to work on to stay out of compare/ despair mode. Do you have another way to stay sane? Please share!